Ten Reasons

So, I've been meaning to write this somewhere for awhile now and I guess I have the time. Or maybe I'm starting to finally stop feeling sorry for myself and I need to get over it. Anyways, it hit me a couple of weeks ago, when I was playing video games, why I'm single. Now, you know it's sad when you realize a reason why you're single when you're yelling at your TV because a video game doesn't go your way. I've singled it down to 10 reasons why (no particular order):

1. Cereal Collection - For as long as I could remember, cereal, and most breakfast foods for that matter, have been my favorite food to eat at any time of the day. I once tried going on a week where I ate nothing but cereal. At one point in the last year, I had 16 boxes of cereal. It may be unhealthy that I eat a lot of cereal, but also healthy in a sense that it can be nutritious. If you ever want to make my day, I like Honey Bunches of Oats and Frosted Shredded Wheat.

2. My guitar's name is Sheena - Under the influence of the Ramones' classic, "Sheena Is A Punk Rocker." If you think I got this from any other place than you're a dumb ass with no history. I'm thinking of picking up a new guitar soon, a Danelectro "Dead On '67." They're so beautiful, and I'm going to name her Judy.

3. Message Board Poster - I love message boards so much that I go out looking for new ones to start posting in. They mainly deal with my many interests, because I couldn't possibly take part in a message board unless I was trolling. Even then that's just stupid and a waste of time. Also, you know you're a loser that spends too much time on them when you get threads made about you.

4. Violence and Horror Obsessed - What grown man is obsessed with this type of material? Honestly, I find solace in witnessing blood, guts, and horror themed music. I find lyrical content to be very fitting and out of the norm.

5. Farmville Addict - Really!? So I just found out that this game is played in real time and that I have to keep checking up on my crops. Now whenever I'm at a friend's place, I have to ask if "I could get online to check on my crops." What the fuck does this even mean!?

6. I Yell at Video Games - You know when something just doesn't go your way.... for the 40th time!? Yeah well, I'm convinced everyone has a boiling point and mine gets reached when I experience the same outcome. By the way, to this day I'm still stuck on that fucking level...

7. Constant Playlists - I sercretly (I guess not anymore since you know) have lots of playlists I've made in the last couple of years that range from different types of music to comfort moods I have. I'm going to now start making tapes rather CD mixes and also start collecting tapes.

8. Collecting (in general) - Ever since I've had the internet, I've always been a huge collector in funny images, music and movies. They're about 90% responsible for who I am and make up most of my humor. Steve Buscemi said it best in Ghost World, "You think it's healthy to obsessively collect things? Can't connect with other people so you fill your life with stuff, just like all the rest of these pathetic, collector losers."

9. Stupid Music - My favorite band has a song titled, "I Can't Stop Farting." I think that says enough, but I honestly can't get enough of this. As stated above, music pretty much makes up my humor and I can relate to most of it. Quoting it also fun, this goes for movies as well. Not to mention the music I write is just as, if not, worse. Lame lyrical content, but it sums up me pretty well.

10. I'm a Genius - I think only stupid people have good relationships. Nothing is perfect, and for that matter, nothing in this world lasts forever. I figure, if I wait my time, the girl will come for me. Also the fact that I'm obsessed with the idea of love itself and also the fact that I live by every Queers lyric makes me a huge dork, but it's fun and I hope the right girl will see this.