Fuck Segways

Hate: If you know anything about me at all, then you know I hate things I don't understand. One of the many things I don't understand (hate) are FUCKING SEGWAYS! Talk about the dorkiest and laziest form of transportation imaginable. Ride something that actually encourages exercising, like a bicycle. Hell, even rollerblades, I kind of hate those too. You might as well be knighted Sir Gay of Fagtown for riding one of these things. Anyone would have more dignity riding this around than a segway.

Love: Empty movie theaters. It didn't hit me until today, when I went to see Daybreakers, which by the way wasn't a bad movie. I don't really get too excited for vampire movies, but it was pretty cool. Anyways, empty theaters, the best. No one screaming or making noise, but me, myself, and I. Although, making lots of noise is fun when you're heckling with a group of friends. Sitting , enjoying, and actually being able to hear everything going on during a movie theater is important because I never catch certain parts and I don't necessarily re-watch movies unless it's something I can relate or love. I should start getting into the habit of re-watching.

Condiments And Movies

Hate: Mayonnaise.... Dear God, is there anything more VILE in this world that people eat? It's like consuming pure fat in a white, thick and creamy consistency. The smell alone makes my hair curl and makes me sick to my stomach. I don't even get sick easily, but goddamn ever since I had to experience Mayonnaise Girl in middle school, I haven't thought of touching mayonnaise. "Mayonnaise should always be banned."

Love: Netflix, need I say more? Whoever came up with this idea is a fucking genius and is probably a millionaire by now. The fact that I'm able to watch an unlimited amount of movies and TV shows AND stream it through my xbox 360 for $9.44/month rules.

Black And White

I've thought a lot about what Allison had said to me, which is that I need a theme or an ongoing topic for this directionless, free-ranting blog. But that's exactly what I'm good at, having diarrhea mouth, or in this case, virtual diarrhea. I've narrowed it down to two things, a blog where I talk about things I love and hate, because that's how I pretty much base my decisions. It's just plain black and white to me, nothing in between. There was that, or a blog about food, and I'm not even consistent when it comes to food and what not. So love/hate it is:

Hate: You like knowing when someone else is eating even when you're not looking at them? Fuck no, I hate that shit. That's when you know they're too loud and chewing with their mouths' open. Leave that for the fucking animals. I want to know who taught them how to eat that way. Someone fucked up cause they're certainly not eating properly. It's as if they were raised by monkeys. It's disgusting and this is coming from the type of guy who doesn't get grossed out by most things in this world, but if I hear you chewing and making ugly faces, there's a 100% that I will depise you. Learn to chew, bitch.

Love: Thinking about this right now makes me miss warmer weather, but it's not that far away. I just have to wait a couple more months! Anyways, I love when you're soaking wet or just sweating like crazy and you're driving on the freeway with your windows down. It's a breeze like no other you've ever felt. I know it's probably not good for you, but so are many other things in this world that bring people joy, like drugs or horse sex.

PS. The New Year's full of shit and so are you.